This past weekend, my soon-to-be ex boyfriend and I came to the stark realization that our relationship was over. I known it and felt it for sometime but to actually verbalize it was difficult to say the least. Yes, there were a lot of tears (from both of us), a lot of blame passed back and forth, a lot of "what-ifs" and of course, a lot of break-up sex but at the end of the day, we both know that our realtionship has hit a brick wall at maximum speed and that separating is the only alternative right now.
This will be the first relationship where I've made tough decisions with my head rather than my heart and you know what? It was the second toughest decision I've had to make in my entire life. That's not to say that decisions will become easier as I get older but man, this one has really put a strain on me mentally, emotionally and even physically. Even as I write this, my stomach is gripped in knots and I've been light-headed the last couple of days.
All I can do now is wait until the day when he is packed up and prepared to move three-thousand miles across the United States to finally help care for his children. Because, in my heart, I know that this is where he's headed.
I know deep-down inside that this is the right decision but damnit, it doesn't make it easier to digest.
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2 comments:
keep sight of what's right. it's the only thing you'll have some days... and on other days, it'll be the only thing you need.
It's difficult but I'm trying.
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