When I was back in College and even High School, It was rare that I was unprepared for an exam. I prided myself on being the 'model' student, the one of few who didn't sweat when a professor would say, "tomorrow you will have a test on such and such." My study habits were such that I never worried about passing, only how well I would do. Well, for the past few days I've been failing miserably at the tests that mean the most...The ones given to me by GOD. And, I feel bad for not only failing myself but failing HIM.
See, He knows exactly how much we as humans can take and will never give us more than we can handle. My problem is, I lost sight of that until tonight. I've been to the gym sporadically the last two weeks and although I haven't gained any weight back (probably because my appetite has waned), my body is starting to let me know what I've been missing. My overall mood has stunk and I've lost my zest for life. I also did something stupid and not only alarmed the person who has become a best friend to me but caused her to be angry with me at a time when she is already carrying around a full plate of life's challenges and could very well have told me to go to hell because she doesn't need to deal with my gripes. This is not me. There are a lot of people out there with bigger problems than I and I realize it.
So GOD, I'm telling you right here, right now that I'm sorry for not passing you tests and humbly ask for your forgiveness. I promise to pass them from this point on. I'm going back to the things that make me happy and I'm not talking material things. You see, I do love myself and I need to get back to where I can allow people to see that again. For those who can't or don't see that I am a person who will give you 1000% percent of me if deserving, I still pray that you receive the many blessings that HE bestows upon me daily.
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