Career-Minded

I think that I've finally found my niche, careerwise that is, where I feel good about coming to work everyday. You see, I work for a small software company and one of the advantages of my position is that I'm afforded the opportunity to learn various area of my field (the IT industry). It has always been my goal to make a mark in this industry which is so heavily dominated by the male population. The only way to keep up with the 'boys' is by learning all that I can. The more that I know, the more ammunition I'll have to write my own ticket. So, for the next six months I'll be honing my programming skills (SQL, Visual FoxPro, web programming) to add another notch to my IT belt. My goal is to stay at my present job for another eighteen months or so (unless I'm given an offer that I can't refuse) and then move onward and upwards.

I know that some of my friends are still trying to figure out which direction they'd like to go in their careers so let me tell you that the sky's the limit and once you determine your path, let nothing and no one stop you ;)!

Weird Feeling

You know how sometimes you get a feeling that something is going to happen that will just ruin your entire day? Well, I awoke to that feeling this morning and it has me feeling like blech. I'm gonna go see if I can shake it off so that I can get through this day. I'll holla later.

I Can Feel The Burn Now

My trainer warned me that this would happen. I awoke this morning to the soreness and stiffness that I was told that I would feel after the workout that I had at the gym yesterday. But you know what? It was well worth it. I pushed myself to test my limits and I released some of the stress that's been stored in my body. Oh well. I'll be back there on Monday for some more punishment.

The Perfect Gentleman

I've been having this recurring dream lately about a man who I'm infatuated with. I say that because some would call me a "fan" because he is a somewhat well-known person but I'm not. I mean, I've listened to his voice many times for years and it's always affected me the same way; chills throughout my body as I listen to his soothing voice but I've come to realize that since I met him, it's deeper than that. Now mind you, I'm not a celebrity hound and never have been. I see people who have a particular talent that may cause them to be in the spotlight but they're regular people just like me.

Anyway, the dream almost always is the same. I'm courted by this gentleman in ways that I never imagined could happen. Not just the usual holding the door open kind of thing, either. He's the perfect gentleman. He knows what I like and ensures that I have what I need, which is not much. This particular time, we are at a function where he is sorta working so I'm hanging with my friend, TD while he does his thing. Suddenly, one of my favorite songs, "I Love You Just Because" by Anita Baker comes on and the song is dedicated to me. I look around in shock and he appears in front of me and says "I've wanted to tell you this for awhile." At that point, I awaken from the dream. I've tried desperately to fall back asleep to continue the dream from that point to no avail.

*Sigh* Sometimes I wonder if dreams really are meant to come true.

New Beginnings

I know that it's been some time since I've blogged and it's not due to the lack of anything to say. On the contrary, I've had LOTS to blog about just no willpower to actually put the thoughts down. Remember the rollercoaster of emotions that I wrote about? Well, they continue each day and I'm just trying to gain more control of them. It's a work in progress that hopefully will make me a better person.

I went to my first full workout session this morning after a few mishaps getting on track. I pushed myself a little more than the average "newbie" but it's because A. I have a LOT of stress to release and B. I have a four month goal to get into better shape. Those who know me well know that I'm stubborn when it comes to focusing on a goal. I don't play around. So, even though I know that this is going to be tough, in the long run it will pay many dividends. I've set a three-day per week workout schedule for the next three weeks. Gotta start off small. We'll see what happens.

stay tuned....

Sisterly Love

Yesterday, I traveled to Queens to meet up with TD and accompany her to her sorority's annual basketweave party (big shoutout to the AKAs!). The event was a fundraiser and the proceeds went to a scholarship fund for youths. I'm a big believer in helping youths especially since I was a young, single mom. Anyways, I had a BLAST! It's been a while since I've genuinely laughed the way that I did yesterday and I thank TD for inviting me to hangout with her sisters. There were numerous baskets that were auctioned off and each one held its own special beauty.

Although I didn't win anything, I hope that the money that I was able to donate to the fund helps a little. Hopefully, next year I'll be invited again. Either way, I'd like to contribute a couple of baskets myself.

All in all, yesterday was a good day!

Rollercoaster

That's been my emotions for a few days now. A series of up and downs. I dug up an old song that I used to listen to whenever I had a heavy heart. It's a duet by Anita Baker and BeBe Winans entitled "Ain't No Need to Worry."

Ain't no need to worrying
What the night is gonna bring
Because it will be all over in the morning

There's a feel of nightfall
When darkness comes and covers all of the day

Sometimes we feel pain
But there are some things that we can change
Just pray

Chorus

Troubles come but they do pass
Heartaches hurt but they don't last all day

Sometimes we feel pain
But there are some things that we can change
Just pray

Chorus

In the morning
Morning
It'll be all over in the morning
It'll be all over in the morning

I've been listening to this song over and over and over again. My faith, my friend TD and this song are what's keeping me together these days. Thank GOD for all three.

Damned If I Do, Damned If I Don't...

Why are life's issues so diffucult to figure out sometimes? Why can't life be simpler than it really is? Sometimes I wish that I could just dial-up the answers to my problems. But, life is not like that so I guess I'll have to take the more painful route.

Cherished Moments

You know how you have moments that you wish would last longer than they actually do? I had a few of those last week. It's been quite a while since I've had such a good time. I helped TD celebrate her 31st birthday in style with good food, drinks, awesome dancing but most of all, the enjoyment of great company. It was nice to get out and have some fun for a change and at the same time feel good knowing that your friend was truly enjoying herself. Those are cherished moments that will last forever.

Cruisin '05-Cozumel, Mexico

Friday, August 26th

Today, we are in sunny Cozumel. This would be a total sight-seeing, shop yourself to death adventure. There was no tender to take so once we left the ship the adventure began. Mind you, Mexico is patrolled heavily so if you didn't have the proper ID with you, forget about gong anywhere. I'm saying, the drug-sniffing dogs were on patrol, shun. After my obligatory picture-snapping (I'm saying), we headed to the terminal where we walked through this long atrium filled with shops. Of course, my favorite was the wall-to-wall bottles of tequila lined up just waiting for someone to adopt them. I made a mental note of what I would pick up later. We exited the terminal and I sister, Donna (who had been to Cozumel before) mentioned that there were a strip of shops in town but she didn't remember how to get there. We asked some of the locals who pointed up to The Forum Shops located downtown. It was hotter than Florida so we jumped into a cab and took the short ride into town. The setup was such that every step you took there were vendors standing outside their shops trying to lure the tourists in to spend money.

let me tell you how good their setup is. The jewelry shop salesman/women invite us inside and ask us if we're thirsty. We say yes (it's only about 150 degrees outside) and they offer us shots of top-shelf TEQUILA. I saying, we could have however much we wanted as we perused their wares. Yo, I'm not talking about the thirty dollar bottles either. I'm talking stuff that's been aged at least twelve years. One joint made us a drink that was a pina colada with a tequila shot floating on top. Bananas, man. And, they weren't even upset that we didn't purchase anything. When I'm ready to buy my tennis bracelet, I'm definitely taking a trip back to Cozumel. Their prices are quite reasonable. Oh, I also forgot to mention that you are allowed to walk the streets with your alcohol in hand so don't think that I went back without partaking of an ice-cold Corona :) !!!

Anyway, we must've walked forever picking up trinkets along the way. Once funny incident that took place was we went to a market for some of our souvenirs and I planned to purchase the hottest hotsauce they had to take home. Donna and my son, Jay let the vendor talk them into trying one of the hottest ones they had and oh boy, did they cry!!! I had tears in my eyes because they were running around fanning their mouths!!! Needless to say, I purchased a bottle but I'm no fool; I have not touched it since I brought it home!

Being the alcoholics that we are, we picked up about ten bottles between the four of us and headed back to the ship. We decided to eat lunch and chill for a bit before checkin out the happenings for the evening. The next day however, would change the course of our trip both literally and figuratively.

Saturday, August 27th

The day before I noticed (and took a picture) of what was Hurricane Katrina. No one knew how close this storm was to us and we still had a day or so before we were due to port in New Orleans. However, once we went to our mandatory disembarkation meeting, we found out that the storm was closer than anyone thought and we wouldn't be able to return to N.O. because they were closing both the ports and airports. A panic took over the room and people started tossing out questions all at once to our cruise director (Stuart). He did a wonderful job of giving us whatever information he had at the time and tried as best he could to answer questions.

Unfortunately, the information wasn't what people wanted to hear and I found out just how ignorant and dumb my fellow passengers were. Then man clearly stated that because the storm was expected to be pretty bad, no one was allowed back in New Orleans. Thank meant by plane, train, automobile or ship. However, the same question was asked at least a hundred gabillion times, "how am I going to get back to New Orleans?" I just shook my head and said, "dumbass, didn't he just tell you that you weren't?" I know a lot of these people live there and were concerned about their families and property but damn. Listen, please.

The game plan was for us to be rerouted to Galveston, Texas. So, the options were whomever could change their flights would be able to leave on Sunday on a complimentary bus into Houston's airport and those who couldn't get a flight on Sunday could stay and extra day (for free) and leave on Monday. However, every passenger had to leave the ship by eleven on Monday as the it was slated to head to Panama to refuel for the next cruise.

Needless to say, my group chilled until Monday. Our flight(s) were not scheduled to leave until 6 pm so we got a chance to spend the day at the airport. Woohoo!!! Not. It was the most boring time I've ever had. But, thank GOD everyone made it home safe and sound and we landed at LaGuardia Airport at 11 pm that night.

I've been praying ever since for the victims of Hurricane Katrina (and Rita) and will keep them in my heart.

Well, this ends my dream vacation. Hopefully it was just a trial run of many more to come!!!

Peace......

Cruisin '05-Grand Cayman Islands

Thursday, August 25th

Today, we visit the Grand Cayman Islands in all of its splendor. I have to take my daily snapshots so I go up to the top deck and I can see 7-Mile Beach in the distance. After a few dozen shots, I head back to have my daily breakfast before the crew heads to our tender. While we are on the boats that would take us to the Island, I gaze into the water and realize that it is a perfect blue color. I mean a RICH blue and clear too. I'd never seen anything like it before and felt like I was in heaven for real.

Once we arrived at the beach, I ran (yes, ran) to the sand and just walked barefoot in awe. You see, I'm used to the beach at Coney Island (blech), Rye (yawn) and Fire Island (okay) but this was way better than all of them. The further down I stuck my feet the cooler the sand was. And, it was perfectly clean!!!! We proceeded to grab some beach chairs so that we could laze for a few hours while my sister tanned (who knows for what cause they are both already tanned but whatever, we're on vacation!). Libra is not a water sign but ever since I was a little girl, I've always been attracted to water. I would beg my mother to let me play in the rain, I'll take walks in the rain or just sit by a window and watch it rain. Listening to it has a very calming, sensuous affect on me. So, while they tanned I headed to the ocean. I'm not a strong swimmer but adequate enough that I felt comfortable. Being able to see the ocean floor was so tranquil I closed my eyes and thanked GOD for blessing me with this trip. Later on, I took a nap and then treated myself to some mahi mahi (dolphin fish) which was delectable.

After a few hours of fun, sun and sand we decided to head back to town to pick up some gifts. We all found some really good bargains so after a little sightseeing, headed back to the tender that would take us to our ship. I'll definitely be returning to Grand Cayman in the future.

Cruisin '05-Some More

Wednesday, August 23rd

Today when I woke up, we were already docked in Montego Bay, Jamaica! As the excitement build up, I took my shower, got dressed and called my sisters' room. They were halfway dressed so we would meet in their cabin. As usual, my son out partied everyone so I had to awaken him to let him know that if he didn't get ready soon, we would leave him. He promised to meet up with us at breakfast so I headed to my sisters' deck. Once there, we called our parents and told them to meet us in our normal spot for breakfast. We would all be heading out to town together since it's foreign territory. Gotta watch out for the parents, you know?

Anyway, we took a cab into town and the first thing we got out of the way was the souvenir shopping. My snap-happy ass immediately zoomed in on a couple of shops so we headed over to them. Once we picked up some treasures for our friends we headed over to Margaritaville (oh buddy!) where the place was already jumpin and it wasn't yet noon.

My parents chilled with us for a bit and then headed back to the ship. Not long after, the place got crunk! The deejay was Jamaican-born and Tennessee raised so his music was an interesting mix that please everyone. Both of my sisters are a lot more outgoing than I so they didn't hesitate to take to the stage for the booty-shaking contest (yes, you read correctly). And guess what? My sister Donna won the damn thing. Her prize was a gift certificate to their gift shop so she picked up something for us, which was nice. We also played TV Trivia where the deejay would play tunes from various television shows and whoever answered the most won a tee-shirt.

Between the dancing, singing and whatnot, we also received free vodka shots which enabled us to stay nice!!!!! Overall, we had a freakin blast during the six or seven hours we were there!

We headed back to take care of some more shopping and BOY did I rack up on some liquor. Not the punk-ass stuff either. I'm talking Appleton Estate Rum, Wray and Nephew Overproof Rum and the like. I've stopped drinking the cheap stuff a long time ago as my tastes have changed dramatically. Five years ago, I would have been satisfied with some Bacardi but not now. I also remembered to pick up the banana rum that TD had requested along with some Jamaican hot sauce and spices to take home.

By the time we re-boarded the ship, we were famished so we dropped our things in our cabins and headed up to lunch. Later that night, more casino-fun and clubbin'. Yeah Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mixups and Drama....Cruisin '05

Tuesday, August 23rd

Last night was a lot of fun. We hung out in Henri's Dance Club watching the people get their groove on. My son (who sometime moonlights as a DJ) was not pleased with Patrick, who served as our DJ for the entire cruise. "He should mix it up better", he said. He was right though; Patrick would get a massive crowd on the floor only to lose them on the very next song. Oh well, I was entertaining myself by watching the drunk people dance. They stayed on the dance floor.

Today, we looked forward to another full day of fun. More importantly, the drink of the day is Caribbean Breeze. It was a little on the sweet side (a little heavy on the pineapple juice) but what the heck, I decided to live a little. I knew that it wouldn't make me sick but after two of them, I became bored with it.

After breakfast, we hit the casino. There was a $500 Slot Machine Tournament taking place so I decided to give it a try. After paying the twenty dollar entry fee, I sat down at one of the machines and waited for the tournament to begin. About forty minutes later (the slot machines would not reset themselves so we had to wait for the technician to reset them. I do not envy his job!), the tournament began. To advance to the next round, you had to rack up the most points in the current round. All we had to do was keep hitting the spin button as if we were playing for money instead of points. Each contestant was allotted 300 spins to collect as many points as possible. Needless to say, I didn't advance past the first round but it was fun.

Meanwhile, My mom and my sister Donna, were hit'em heavy on the slot machines. The two of them are very lucky with the slots so it was a matter of time before one of them won some money. Donna was the first one. She sat down at a nickel machine (yes, I said nickel) and put in a twenty dollar bill; as soon as the girl hit the spin button, she won a jackpot. I forget offhand how many nickels she won but it amounted to $700. We were happy for her because she had just started a new job and would not be getting paid for the week she is on the cruise so this would really help her out. Go, Sis!!!

Today's line-up of activities included Shipboard Survivor (an onboard version of Survivor), The Newlywed Game, more Bingo, TV Theme Trivia and a host of others. The crew went back and forth between the activities and the casino.

Now, the drama....

As I stated previously, my entire family was not seated at the same table in the dining room at dinnertime. The night before, we'd mentioned it to our group leader who assured us that she would straighten things out. The previous night, my table was missing two people (our table was a seating for eight). Tonight, they decided to join us for dinner. The only problem was the night before, there had been another couple sitting there. So, after our group leader did some shuffling to seat my family together, the people from the previous night had been bumped from the table. They showed up for dinner late so they took seats at the next table over from us without checking to see if the seats belonged to anyone. Why'd they do that? The next thing I knew, there was mad cursing and yelling coming from that table. I turned around and the couple who had been bumped from our table had taken someone else's seats and the people showed up. Apparently, someone asked them to get up, a comment was made and it got ghetto. Now mind you, the dining room is pretty big and there were a lot of people having dinner at the time. There also were a lot of white people who looked none too pleased with folk to begin with. So, when the yelling and threatening (you read correctly) started, they had looks on their faces like they expected black folk to act out (which we did).

My parents became disgusted, I became frustrated and my sister was unhappy because it wasn't only our group whose seating was jacked up, a lot of folks were separated from their people. The next thing I knew, there was a fight breaking out on the other side of the dining room. We decided that it was not worth the drama and we would have dinner the next night on the upper deck where folks knew how to act. The diningroom boycott was in full effect. Besides, we could wear whatever we wanted at the buffet!

After the dinner drama, everyone went back to their cabins to change into our clubbing clothes for later that evening. There was a Lido Deck party going on and wanted to make sure that we didn't miss it.

It was off the chain but I'll have to write about it tomorrow after I get the pictures together. I will say though that my crew wound up on video for everyone to see! Hopefully, it won't end up on the blackmarket! :) And tomorrow, we port in Montego Bay, Jamaica!!!!

Cruisin '05- continued

Monday, August 22nd

My sisters and I decided that 7 a.m. would be the time for our wakeup calls no matter what time we managed to fall into bed the previous night. Since last night was really just an excursion around the ship to become acclimated, we were energetic and ready to commence with the games. I had decided early on that even though I was on vacation, I would still eat sensibly (but often). So, breakfast for me always contained a hot cup of tea (to subdue the alcohol) and fruit no matter what else I ate. I managed to stick to this agenda every day!

Each evening we received a Carnival Capers paper in our cabins. The caper informed us of just about everything that would occur on the ship for the entire day and night (we would not reach our first port until Wednesday). So, after breakfast we reviewed the paper to see when our first event would start. There were a full day's worth of events taking place and the first one was a game called Trivia Time @ 10 a.m.. It took place in one of the bars on Deck 3 so we headed there to get good seats.

Just so you'll know, every game played on board the ship afforded us a chance to win prizes. They ranged from a simple medal to a bottle of champagne to cash prizes so participation was never scarce. There were about 25 people playing Trivia and although I didn't win anything, it was a lot of fun. The next event was $1,000 Jackpot Bingo which was held in a big auditorium that also served as one of the lounges for our nightly entertainment. Now, whenever there is cash at stake, people turn out in droves so the room (which could hold a good thousand or so people) was quite full. My family and I all met there so that we could all play together. No of us won but again it was a lot of fun.

Afterwards, it was time to check out some midmorning grub. See, I needed to have a snack because we were about to partake on our first alcoholic beverages for the day. Everyday there is a drink special that you could purchase either in a regular glass or in a Carnival souvenir glass. The drink special of the day was an Island Delight. Now, those who know me well know that I don't really drink mixed drinks too much anymore but hell, this is a vacation so I'm open to whatever! The drink was quite tasty and the bartender proved that he could mix it up (hahaha!) with the best of them! I think that I had four or five of them in total for the day.

Anyway, throughout the day we went from activity to activity (Blackjack Tournament, Ice Carving and Hairy Chest Competition, Who Wants to be a Millionaire, The Dating Game, Austin Powers Dance Class, more Bingo). Below are some of the pictures from the various activities.....











Later that Night

Since this is our first full day, it is also our Formal Night. This means we all have to dress in something other than jeans and sneakers so that we can take photos. Dinner was had in the formal dining room where we would be each night of the cruise (The Monet Room). It is a pretty dining room with two levels and our groups' seating was on the second level. Now here comes the drama; there are six of us in the immediate family and we all have the same last name so one would think that we would all be seated together as a family, right? WRONG. My son and I were seated at a different table nearby. We told our group leader what had happened and she promised to straighten it out for the next evening. Little did we know, that this would precipitate massive drama (more on that later). After eating our meal, it was time to take some photos...









After the picturetaking was over, we decided that we were going to change into our dance clothes and hit Henri's Dance Club for some more drinks and fun. The fun lasted til about two....three...sometime a.m.

Stay tuned......

Cruisin '05

I promised that I would post about my cruise so here we go....

Sunday, August 21st @ 4:30 a.m.

My family and I piled into a white, stretch limo (courtesy of my wonderful cousin, Go Eddie!) with our luggage for the short trek to LGA Airport. I'd never been to this airport and was not really impressed with what I saw but I was so excited it didn't matter. Since we arrived mad early, after the ten minute check-in process, there was nothing left to do but wait until we could board our first flight (at 7 a.m.).

After what seemed like a lifetime, our flight was called to board and we were on our way. I've flown in airplanes before but each time feels like the first. To me, flying is a thrilling experience. I feel thisclose to GOD when I am in the air!

The first flight was a relatively short layover in Chicago. By the time I made my obligatory phone call home, it was time to board for the second leg. This one was a little longer but equally exciting to me. However, my Mom and Dad (who hate flying), seemed to be having a difficult time (especially my Mom). From time to time, my sisters and I gave her a reassuring glance that said that everything would be alright and that we would all survive the flight.

Once we landed in New Orleans, the excitement REALLY began to build. Our group of fifty (we repped the Bronx, Queens and BK strong) then climbed into a charter bus for the thirty minute ride to the port where we would board the Carnival Conquest.

Along the way, I was able to capture some images of New Orleans (to be posted later), including the Superdome. As we pulled up to the pier, the busdriver pointed out our ship and my jaw dropped. It was a breathtaking view of the largest ship I'd ever seen. We were informed that she stood 27 stories tall and could carry 2000+ passengers. This would be my home for the next eight days!

Even though we had traveled a ways to get here, no one seemed fatigued. After spending another twenty minutes to check-in, we were allowed to board. I'm not gonna front, my ass RAN to get on that ship, I was so happy! As our cabins were not quite ready, we were directed to the ninth floor deck for a reception party. Didn't have to tell me twice! I headed straight to the first bar I saw and ordered the first of MANY drinks to come!

Welcome to Paradise! Yeah, baby!!!!! More to come.....

I haven't been in the best of moods lately so I prayed, read my current book (Dark Nights of the Soul) and made a promise to myself to face my demons head on and ride this wave until I resolve the issues in my life. The sooner I get past this phase of my life, the happier I can be for myself, my family and loved ones.

Later tonight, I will begin posting about the wonderful cruise that I experienced this summer. Stay tuned.....

"I Need You To Survive"

While I was watching the Save Ourselves telethon on BET tonight, gospel singer Hezekiah Walker sang a song with his choir entitled "I Need You To Survive". I'd heard snippets of the song before but tonight I really got a chance to listen closely to the words of the song. As the goosebumps took over my flesh, I realized how much this song really hits home for me right now...

"I Pray For You, You Pray For Me"
"I Love You, I Need You To Survive"
"I won't harm you with words from my mouth, I Love You, I Need You To Survive"
"You Are Important To Me, I Need You To Survive"

Writer's Block....Sort Of

I haven't felt much like writing the last few days. Not for lack of anything to say but because I'm preoccupied with a lot of things right now, mainly my life and how unhappy I am with it at the moment. I promise to blog about my vacation very soon along with posting some pictures.

But first, I have to get back to being me.

"What An Asshole!"

Today I was really upset about the devastation from the effects of Hurricane Katrina. Don't' get me wrong, I am a stern believer in GOD and know that he does things for a reason but I'm still human with human emotions. I guess that I still have a lot to learn about life. Anyway, my CEO told the staff that the asshole President is two for two this week. First, he flies safely in his flying pimp mobile over the states that were affected by this disaster and makes a stupid comment about how New Orleans was mostly covered by water. No shit, Sherlock!!! Where the fuck have you been the last few days? Tell us something that we don't already know! Then, because of the rising gas prices, he tells the American people not to buy gas unless they need it. What the fuck?!!! Okay so, people are just arbitrarily going to gas stations and spending their hard-earned money on gas just for the helluva it? I'd like to personally pimp-slap every single person who re-elected (excuse me, re-selected) this moron back into office.

My Dream Vacation

Today is my first day back from vacation and I'm still jetlagged but it's a wonderful feeling. Man, I needed this vacation like an alcoholic needs a drink (and I had plenty of them :))! I had an AWESOMELY wonderful time and my upcoming posts will recap the experiences that I had. I tried to keep a running journal each day but I was so busy having fun, that didn't work out too well. However, it was a time that I will never forget so writing about it will be easy. I'll also work on the pictures that I took and see how many of them I can post !

Stay tuned.....

Guilty as Charged....

Have you ever felt a wave of guilt take over you and not know how to handle it? I mean the kind where you get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach even though you've been told that you shouldn't feel that way? Well, that's the way I'm feeling right now........

A Release.....

Yeah, i'm a little drunk. So what!? A girl needs too have a little fun every now and then. Besides, I got a chance to hangout with my homie, TD. The girl is more fun than she'll ever realize! Luv her to death! Basically, we both needed a release from the everyday rigamorole so I hope that she had as much fun as I did!

One more day til vacation.....! Woo to the mutha fuckin Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Disappointment

I tried on some capris that I just bought today and my fat ass can't fit them! I know that I've been under stress lately and have not stuck to my eating plan but damn! Can a sister get a break? This will just make me more determined than ever to get my ass in shape when I return from vacation. I refuse to let all the hard work that I've put in go to waste. The same week that I return I'm joining a gym and my fat, jingly ass will be visiting there at least three days/nights a week. Those who know me well know that once I'm focused on a goal, it's a wrap. It will be difficult, I know, but I'm tired of struggling with my clothes and my in-between sizes.

Besides, exercise is a good way to release stress and I'm dealing with a lot of it at the moment.

The Countdown Continues.....

Six more days til I depart on vacation and I can't wait! I'm finally starting to feel excited in anticipation of what I hope will be a fun time. So much so that I didn't feel my usual Monday blahs. I can actually say that today was a relatively happy day at work. It became a little hairy towards that end of the day but that's to be expected under voluntary slavery. Whenever the help is happy, the massa's gotta try to take that away. But, I didn't let them. My girl, TD helped me to remain my silly self today (much appreciated TD!). I've decided that I'm going to ride this wave of happiness for as far as it will take me this week.

Now, off to pay some bills and finish preparing.......

Whew! I Made It!

Well, this week is finally in the record books and I made it through (Thank you GOD!). Now, the countdown really begins (9 days until I leave for vacation!). I was stressin' a little because I have a list yards long of what I still have left to pickup and my head is not really into it. The problem is, I don't like to shop. Why? Because, I find it stressful. Traveling from store to freakin' store not finding what you want (or better yet, not finding it in your size) is not my idea of a fun experience. And, if I am lucky to find something, I seem to always attract the "waitI'mjustgoingtogetonemorething" freaks who, once they do bring their asses to the line, suddenly whip out a credit card! I like to get what I need and get the hell outta the store with as little drama as possible, thank you very much. Anyway, I did manage to put a little dent in my list without goinbg over my budget so I'm fine.

A while back, I made a promise to myself to try to do something kind for another person everyday whether it be words of encouragement, listening when someone needed an ear, giving a small token of appreciation, etc. It's my small way of giving back because there were times when I needed all of those things and was fortunate enough to have people in my life who could provide what I needed. And, it makes me feel good knowing that I put a smile on someone's face ot brightened their day. Like today, I was IMing with my friend, TD. We've both been going through some things in our lives and because we have the friendship that we do, been able to lean on one another when necessary. I'll define our relationship in another post but I just want to say that I am TOTALLY Blessed that this young lady is in my life. She may not know it but she has surpassed the line of friendship straight into family membership. And with me, that takes some doing because I don't have many people who I call a friend much less family. So, I picked up a small gift for her that I knew should would like and when I told her what it was, I could feel the smile on her face!

It's things like that that give my life meaning and purpose. :)

It's Been a Long Day

This week has been relatively quiet for me workwise but mentally, it's taken a lot out of me. Since the month started, I've been counting down the days until I leave on my first cruise to the Western Carribbean (10 days to go). Right before I left work, I made a mental note of the last vacation day that I took this year and wasn't really surprised that it was back in January. I've been known to go long stretches without taking a break and this time, it's taken a toll on me. I so need this trip it's not even funny.

Today, I found it diffucult to stay focused on my work and that's just not me. Usually, even when I'm angry, I can pop the work out left and right; today, mistake after mistake after mistake and it became frustrating. Something is definitely wrong and I must get to the bottom of it or I'll either go crazy or become a serious alcoholic and neither idea sounds appealing (LOL!).

Lot's to Say

I have a lot on my mind which is why I decided to create this blog. However, I'm really a private person so this is a new journey for me and may take a while to get used to. But, as the days go by, I'm hoping that this will become easier as I have a lot to say.

Right now though, I'm beat so I'll catch-up on some much needed sleep.

Stay tuned.....