So, today was the day that I went from being securely blanketed in a relationship that wasn't nurturing in the ways that I wanted to having all of my emotions put on display so that I can take the necessary steps to find out what I'm doing wrong and correct it. I should feel relieved, thrilled, excited about my single status, right? Wrong. I am the most miserable I've felt in a while and although I know the decision I made (to end our relationship) was right for both of us, what I'm feeling right now sucks. Eleven years with the same person is a long time, married or not and some say that I was fortunate to be with him for that amount of time, given the fact that most marriages don't last as long. All that's true but it doesn't lessen the hurt that I'm feeling now. I know that in the long run, I'll pick myself up and move ahead with life but for now, it doesn't seem as though I'll ever get over the fact that the man that I loved, lived with, fought with, played with and had hoped to marry is no longer in my life on a daily basis.
More later......
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Good Times
Last weekend, Terry and I took a drive to Bushkill, PA to see my friend Vanessa and her family in their new home. I hadn't driven in about four years so I was a little nervous but once I picked up the car and slid into the driver's seat, it was good times again. I was psyched when I realized that I hadn't forgotten any of the 'rules' of the road. It's just like some people say-once you learn, you never forget. How right they were. It helped that the ride that I rented was love at first sight. The Ford Escape is a comfortable SUV that gets very good highway mileage. I could tell that the rental company took good care of it cause it smelled nice and clean when I got into it.
Anyway, during the roadtrip I learned that two things will always be with me; I have and probably always will have roadrage (can't help it, folks)and I like to drive f-a-s-t. That's right. Speed demon was on the road! Once we got on 280W, I had to focus really hard not to drive 80 mph. Yeah, I was cognizant of the speedlimits but damnit, I wanted to keep up with the hundreds of other cars that were going way faster than I was!
Although we got somewhat lost, we made it to 'Nessa's place and was met by her middle son(Kyle) who I hadn't seen in a minute. All of the boys has grown at least three inches taller since I'd last seen them but they all remebered Terry and "RahRah" (that's the nickname they gave me when they were little because they couldn't pronounce 'Robin'. TD, don't even think about calling me that :)).
Their house is absolutely beautiful. The rooms are nice and spacious, the deck is awesome and the garage is HUGE. I am quite proud of their accomplishment because Vanessa, Brian (her husband) and I moved into the same apartment building two weeks apart back in 1993. So, to see them transition from the small, cramped two-bedroom apartment to this point was a good feeling. All of their closest friends, family members and co-workers showed their support of this venture and you could feel lots of love flowing throughout. We ate, drank, reminisced and enjoyed each others company well into the night. Some folks left early to beat the setting son but we chilled until the next morning before returning to Jersey. Since I'm considered 'family', I have carte blance to visit anytime I want. Best to believe that I'll be making periodic trips to their neck of the woods.
Anyway, during the roadtrip I learned that two things will always be with me; I have and probably always will have roadrage (can't help it, folks)and I like to drive f-a-s-t. That's right. Speed demon was on the road! Once we got on 280W, I had to focus really hard not to drive 80 mph. Yeah, I was cognizant of the speedlimits but damnit, I wanted to keep up with the hundreds of other cars that were going way faster than I was!
Although we got somewhat lost, we made it to 'Nessa's place and was met by her middle son(Kyle) who I hadn't seen in a minute. All of the boys has grown at least three inches taller since I'd last seen them but they all remebered Terry and "RahRah" (that's the nickname they gave me when they were little because they couldn't pronounce 'Robin'. TD, don't even think about calling me that :)).
Their house is absolutely beautiful. The rooms are nice and spacious, the deck is awesome and the garage is HUGE. I am quite proud of their accomplishment because Vanessa, Brian (her husband) and I moved into the same apartment building two weeks apart back in 1993. So, to see them transition from the small, cramped two-bedroom apartment to this point was a good feeling. All of their closest friends, family members and co-workers showed their support of this venture and you could feel lots of love flowing throughout. We ate, drank, reminisced and enjoyed each others company well into the night. Some folks left early to beat the setting son but we chilled until the next morning before returning to Jersey. Since I'm considered 'family', I have carte blance to visit anytime I want. Best to believe that I'll be making periodic trips to their neck of the woods.
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